Here's a conversation I had recently with someone I haven't seen in a long time. What was actually said is in quotation marks; what I was thinking is in parentheses.
Me: "Hey- I know you!"
(You're that lesbian, whose name I can't remember!)
Lesbian: "'Mimi'?"
Me: "Yes! Wow- good memory! Pat? I haven't seen you in so long!"
(That's right! She's the lesbian who has a twin sister, who's not a lesbian.)
Lesbian: "Yep- I used to be Pat Smith."
Me: (She must have gotten married to that woman she was always hanging around with. They used to play softball on that team with all those other women.)
"We were just talking about your sister!"
Lesbian: "I don't have a sister."
Me: "Yes- your twin sister, Kathy! Weren't you the one who rented an apartment a long time ago from my husband?"
(And didn't you kiss him on the back of the neck on a motorcycle once before you became a lesbian?)
Lesbian: "You're thinking of Chris."
Me: "Are you sure?"
(Shoot. I have her mixed up with another lesbian who drove a pick-up and had really short hair.)
Lesbian: "Yes. You have me mixed up with someone else."
Me: "Oops."
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