Ice Cream

Me: Want some ice cream? We have some in the freezer from the other night. I'll share it with you!

Him: No we don't.

Me: You ate it?

Him: Yes. Last night when you weren't here.

Me (stunned silence.):  I really wanted ice cream.

(More silence.... sighing...) Oh well. I'm too fat for ice cream anyway.

Him: That's what I was thinking.