I'm Getting Old. That's All There Is To It.

I found out I have severe arthritis in my neck today, while I was in Target, wrestling a 50 pound of dog food into the cart and trying to keep a 40 pound 4-year-old from falling out while she was grabbing things off shelves. I answered my phone and heard Dr. Fitzy's nurse giving me the bleak news and telling me how I need to start PT right away and maybe see a spine specialist if that doesn't help. It didn't really register. I just cheerfully said, "OK. Thanks!"

So, of course I went home and googled neck arthritis and found out it can cause EAR WHOOSHING and dizziness and headaches (all of which I already have) and possible inability to swallow and deafness and loss of use of limbs and a bunch of other depressing stuff.  On the bright side, pot seems to help.

So, I turned up my Bose docking thingy really loud to my Pandora Radiohead station and danced around the kitchen while emptying the dishwasher.  And told Al that as a midlife crisis I'm growing my hair long this winter. To which he wearily replied, "Another one?" (meaning midlife crisis; I've had a few.) To which I cheerfully replied, "It could be worse."

So, (last "so", I promise...) my brother-in-law has MS. He's had it for 13 years. He's bedridden, in constant pain. He has chronic shingles and chronic bladder infections. He doesn't respond to antibiotics anymore. He has lost control of his bladder.  I call him and we talk about baseball and politics and the kids.  We laugh a lot. Sometimes he laughs so hard there are long silences on the other end of the phone and I'm afraid he's going to have a heart attack. He never complains, even though I tell him he can, to me.  He says, "If you called me and I did nothing but complain, you wouldn't want to call me anymore."

So, (I lied) I'm not going to complain.  I'll be brave like Joe- when I am in pain, it will remind me to say a little prayer for him, that he's not having a horrible day.