"Sheepie"

So, Nina and I were walking down 1st Ave. on the Upper East side of Manhattan first thing yesterday, enjoying the beautiful morning, passing cafés serving breakfast on the sidewalk, smiling at little kids zooming by on scooters with their parents following behind, laughing at silly dogs.

Nina is in her "collecting treasure" phase. Last weekend on the way from the parking lot to Fenway Park in Boston she collected a kind of cool stick shaped like a twisty slingshot, a broken paper clip, one half of a pistachio shell, and a dime. Yesterday, sitting on the sidewalk, she spotted a sheep. It was about a foot long, 10 inches high. An inflatable sheep. Kind of weird, but kind of cute. She was smiling and was wearing a frilly hat with a red bow. Nina was in love. She immediately named her Sheepie.

I said no. It was on the sidewalk in NYC- who knows who was touching it, or whose germs were on it from their mouth when they blew it up. Her eyes started to fill up with tears. They are big and brown and long-lashed and are usually smiling along with the rest of her. I hate it when they fill up with tears. 

I said ok- you can carry her back to the apartment, and then I'll put her in the car. She was thrilled. She skipped along, swinging her newest, and possibly most exciting treasure find ever, beside her when I suddenly noticed something strange about Sheepie. She had sort of a large hole below her tail. I thought to myself, is this some sort of educational toy? Is this where the baby Sheepies come out?

I started to put my finger in the hole- not sure what I was looking for, when I realized, Good God- Sheepie is a sex toy.

I didn't want to over-react- it seemed clean and unused, so to speak. I felt kind of nauseous. Nina said- Mimi, come on! Sheepie and I are skipping!! I thought to myself, don't over react- she lives in a happy, innocent little world- I'll let her enjoy it for a few more blocks and then I'll kill it.

So there we were, me walking along, hoping beyond hope that no one would know what kind of perverse thing I was allowing my grandchild to gleefully play with in public, she blissfully skipping along beside me, smiling and telling Sheepie how adorable she was, I couldn't stop looking at that hole.

We got to the car- while she was distracted looking at something else I threw Sheepie on the ground and jumped up and down on her, trying to pop her. She wouldn't pop. I threw her in the trunk, brought Nina upstairs and scrubbed her hands.

Sheepie is now in the trash in my garage in MA. I kind of want to go out there and stab her with a verysharp knife to ensure that she never comes back...