On Swearing

I spent my childhood summers at the Jersey Shore.  Being the little nerd that I was, a highlight for me was our weekly visit to the Bookmobile, when I'd stock up on a new pile of things to read on the beach, and in my sandy bed at night.  So, one sunny day, I laid down on my tummy on my towel, prepared to immerse myself in my new Nancy Drew adventure.  I opened the front cover, and there, on first clean white page, was a list of swears.  There had to be at least 12 of them.  I was about 9 years old, and unfamiliar with those kinds of words, but I immediately knew they were really bad ones.  Since no one else was paying attention, I studied them long and hard, so I wouldn't forget them, even though I didn't have the slightest clue what any of them meant.  And I knew I definitely could never say them.

My parents never swore.  The worst thing I ever heard my father say was "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" when he would get angry at a stupid driver.  I never got into the habit either.  I used to believe that it was like smoking- if your parents did it, you probably would end up doing it too.  After I memorized my list on the beach I used to swear to myself in my head.  If I thought about those words in front of a parent or a teacher it made me feel quite powerful.

Now, I hear the words on that list everywhere I go- on the radio, on tv, at the mall, coming out of the mouths of little kids.  It bothers me in certain situations- I hate hearing mothers swearing at their kids in parking lots, and when families talk like that around the house in regular conversation.   I hate when teenagers use the f word with their friends around other people like they're not even there.  But I have lots of friends who swear and it doesn't bother me.  I guess we've all gotten sort of desensitized- it's probably not a good thing for our culture, or our language, in general.

About the f word in particular- it's used so much now that it's pretty much lost it's meaning.  It is a very versatile word- it can be used as a noun, verb or adjective.  I think when funny people use it it can be great.  It can make what they're saying even funnier.  It all just depends on the context.  I tried saying it for awhile to sound cooler. But it wasn't me.  I sounded like a nerd who was trying to sound cool.  It does make some people sound cooler, though. I don't know why- it's all a mystery.

I only used it twice around my kids- both times they had done very bad things.  That's another thing.  When I swear, people know I really mean it.  When you use that kind of language all the time, what do you say when you're really upset or angry? I guess you just string a lot of horrible words together, and say them very loudly- it becomes more quantity over quality.  And, at the risk of sounding too sexist, I think men can pull off swearing better than women, most of the time.  Really crude women start to lose some of their femininity.  And I like men who apologize to women for their bad language- it shows that they have some respect for us.  Guess I'm just kind of old-fashioned.