Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Death Texts

I came across some interesting texts my husband and I exchanged after his Mom died.  He was in the middle of planning the third funeral he's had to do in his life for a family member- he did his first wife's, his dad's and now his mother's.
For some reason, I wanted to save these for posterity.  Maybe because they are so weird, and so funny.


Him: I had my mom embalmed this morning.  They said it went well, and she looks good.

Me: You're such a good son.

Him: I thought it would be nice to have her bodily fluids drained so she wouldn't have to make any stops on the way down from Nova Scotia.

Me: So thoughtful of you.
You're getting really good at throwing funerals.  When you do mine it's going to be awesome.

Him: It will.  But I don't want to do another one anytime soon.

Me: We'll see..... I think my elbow cancer has moved into my left hip....

Him: Ask the doctor for more of that medicine that cleared up your imaginary brain cancer.

Me:  If I do die, the only thing that I ask is that you use a nice picture of me in my obituary.  I don't really care about the rest.  You can do whatever you want.

Him: You should plan your funeral on your blog.

Me: I don't think so.  That's kind of dark and weird.


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